


Was he ant-sized when he kicked your ass?

by Leavingfreedomandchoice



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, New Avengers, Steve's a little shit, ant-man - Freeform, basically a dumb response to Scott beating up Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leavingfreedomandchoice/pseuds/Leavingfreedomandchoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The New Avengers make sure Steve is aware of Sam being beaten up</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was he ant-sized when he kicked your ass?

Steve swiped his ID and walked in the front door of the new avengers’ base. He sighed with relief, glad to be back from meeting with Fury for the third time that week. Fury had kept demanding meetings to check up on the status of the new avengers and to ask about Tony Stark, as if Steve had heard anything from the man since the Ultron incident. Honestly, Steve wouldn’t have minded the meetings if he hadn’t been forced to drive out to Manhattan for three days every single week.

He headed towards his room; dropping the new files Fury had given him on the front desk. The meetings, to Steve’s dismay, weren’t half as bad as the sheer amount of paperwork he had to deal with. Every day the Fury always ended with: “sign this” or “initial here” or, the worst phrase, ”Rogers, this better be in my mailbox as soon as possible.” It was exhausting and Steve hated every second of it. But apparently, the government had to demand all the paperwork to keep the new heroes operating smoothly (especially since the old avengers had destroyed cities all over the world despite their good intentions).

Finally reaching his room, Steve dropped his bag on the bed. He stared at it for a couple of seconds before deciding he could wait to unpack. Steve turned to go find the rest of his teammates and to make sure they weren’t getting their asses handed to them by Natasha in the training room. Despite all the training, the new recruits had a long way to go before they could beat a trained assassin. 

He walked into the room where Natasha was taking on Sam, who was flying high above her head trying to dodge her dummy bullets. Typical. Steve thought. Sam was always trying his best to beat her, although he usually couldn’t. He was, however, surprised to see Rhodey sprinting up to him with the biggest smile Steve had seen in a while. It would have been comforting if the man hadn’t looked so damn funny.

Steve quirked an eyebrow, “Not that I’m not happy with the greeting, Rhodey, but you haven’t usually been this happy to see me.”

“Steve,” Rhodey started, “You’ll never guess what happened to Sam.”

“Oh no!” Sam swooped down from the rafters, landing beside Rhodey with an angry glare. “We agreed we weren’t telling him about this.”

“Telling me about what?” Steve narrowed his eyes skeptically. Anything Sam was keeping from him couldn’t be good.

“Sam got completely destroyed by-“

Whatever Rhodey was going to say was cut off by Sam’s hand flying over Rhodey’s mouth. The two fell to the ground, Rhodey trying to throw Sam off of him so he could finish his sentence.

“Ant-man.” Wanda voiced from behind Steve, causing him to jump.

“Wanda! Jeez, warn a guy. Sorry, what?”

“Ant-man. Sam got completely destroyed by Ant-man.” She clarified.

Sam popped up from the ground, staring accusatorially at Wanda. “Whose side are you even on, Maximoff?”

Wanda shrugged and smiled sweetly, patting Sam on the back as she walked past him to where Natasha was standing.

“Who the hell is Ant-man?”

“Scott Lang,” Natasha interjected. “Formerly a convicted felon. Now he’s a hero apparently. He works either with or for Hank Pym. He’s called Ant-man because he can shrink…to the size of an ant.”

Steve turned slowly to Sam. “You let a guy the size of an ant beat you up?”

Sam groaned, “This is why I wasn’t gonna tell you!”

Steve busted out laughing, putting both hands on his knees for support. “Holy shit,” he gasped, “Fuck, wait, wait, wait, was he ant-sized when he kicked your ass?”

“I’m not gonna answer that.”

“Yes!” Rhodey shouted, still on the floor.

“I will come down there, Air Force. I was Pararescue. I don’t need a plane to kick your ass.”

Steve started laughing even harder. “Christ, Sam, maybe we should get Lang for the Avengers, huh?”

“You don’t even know the half of it, man. That was some fucked up shit. Some stuff just isn’t normal, and this definitely falls in that category. He could grow and shrink at will, Steve. It’s not like he was a tiny dude the whole time! Plus, he’s got all the power of a 200 lb man behind a tiny little hand. Like a bullet, Steve! He’s practically a human bullet.”

Steve was laughing too hard to form a response, but he reached out a hand, grabbing for Sam’s arm. “This is the best news I’ve heard all week. Holy shit.”

“Well that’s good,” Sam grit out. “Then I guess you won’t be too upset when I tell you that he took some of Stark’s dad’s old shit from the warehouse.”

Steve straightened up, wiping tears from his eyes. “Sorry, what?”

“You heard me. What? You think he just came here to try his luck with an Avenger?”

“Ah, damn it. There had to be a downside, huh? Oh well. We’ll handle it. Hey Rhodey,” Steve got a dangerous glint in his eye, the kind usually reserved for pranks on the Avengers or other agents. “We wouldn’t happen to have any footage, would we?”

“Y’know what, Rogers?” Rhodey bounced up from the ground, placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I think we just might.”

The pair took off racing out of the room and down the hall to the security room. Sam sighed and let his head drop.

“He was gonna find out eventually,” Nat said with a smirk on her way out.

“I know. I was just kinda hoping I wouldn’t be there when he did.” 

“You’ve gotta admit though,” Nat began, “it was pretty funny.”

“Oh now you’re gonna pay, Romanoff!” Natasha took off running, dragging Wanda along with her, and Sam sprinted after them.


End file.
